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1. Ask questions
People you converse with like to know you’re listening. A major oversight in conversation is trying so hard to figure out what you’re going to say next that you forget to listen to the person talking. By simply asking a clarification question, you show the speaker that you are engaged and care about the subject. Photo: Eddie Jim -
2. Don’t judge
Being likeable and open-minded go hand-in-hand. It all comes down to approachability, and having a trait of open-mindedness gives the impression that you’re more willing to listen, as opposed to someone who has formed an opinion once they’ve walked into a room. In a workplace, having an open mind also opens the way to creativity; so before you put someone down, realise that they could be the help you’ve been seeking. -
3. Don’t seek attention
Braggers can be spotted from a mile away. These type of people are usually compensating for something else so they need a big and extroverted personality to cover for it. Simply speaking in a friendly and confident manner will give you all the attention you need, along with respect. -
4. Practise consistency
Whether in the workplace or in relationships, always strive to be consistent. Likeability comes from one’s ability to stay on top of things and it allows those who interact with you to know what kind of response to expect. It’s all about reliability and ensuring your mood doesn’t affect how you treat others. -
5. Be an expert storyteller
Being a storyteller doesn’t mean being an attention-seeker. Everyone has a story to tell and when the time comes, make sure it’s told in a sophisticated and light-hearted manner. As everyone loves a good story, the art of telling one calls for strong control of language and pace. Tell it right and you’ll easily be the most likeable person in the room. Photo: NBC -
6. Greet people by name
Greeting people by name is often an overlooked practice in modern day conversation. “Bro” and “mate” are fine amongst friends but in more formal settings, it’s important to ensure you use names. Research has shown that those you’re talking to feel validated when you use their names in conversation. Again, this likeability aspect comes down to the fact that you care enough to remember. -
7. Know when to be physical
Being physical can be a likeable trait if executed correctly. We don’t mean giving your colleagues shoulder-rubs, but rather in acts like shaking hands and using the other hand to lightly touch another’s forearm (but never go the full Tony Abbott). Use this when exiting a conversation with someone you won’t be seeing in a while. It can exude sincerity and confidence without turning you into a creep. Photo: Bloomberg -
8. Add some fun to passion
Passionate people often have crowds gravitating towards them and as per No.5, these types of people always have amazing stories to tell. People see passion and are drawn to it. Mind you, there’s a fine line. Showing too much passion can come across as too serious or self-absorbed. The key is to balance passion with a dose of lighthearted fun. Likeability here manifests itself in your ability to score goals whilst remaining accessible and approachable. -
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Winning in today's society is often more about getting caught up in the rat race than any meaningful attempt at being likeable, which often comes as an afterthought.
Being attractive, having a natural tendency to be a social and luck in the gene pool actually have little to do with being likeable.
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They help, but a UCLA study has found that likeability is often accounted to traits such as sincerity, transparency, and a capacity for understanding others.
In other words, it's all about your emotional intelligence.
Click through the gallery above for eight simple ways to spruce up your levels of likeability without sacrificing your pride and jeopardising your life mission.
This story first appeared in D'Marge.