You might disagree with me, but I'm not a huge self-promoter. My decision, when asked to appear on a TV or radio show (which is considered "profile building" apparently), is now based on if I have my daughter that day and, then, whether I can be stuffed ironing a shirt.
Appearing on TV and radio does little to further the things I care about because nine times out of 10 the subject discussed will be generated by a superficial news item ... (the man drought, looking at women's boobs, blah, blah, blah).
It's pointless, unless you want to "build your profile", self-promote, blah, blah, blah.
Now, I have no problem plugging my novels because I'm confident readers will enjoy them, if they judge the work on its merits, rather than if they simply like or dislike the author.
More than that, readers of my novels might also be nudged to think about some of the issues I believe confront most men and women living in Australia today; drug and alcohol abuse, depression, misogyny, social isolation, materialism and unrealistic expectations.
And they'll also get a laugh.
The thing is, most people don't read. I can do a seven-minute spot on a breakfast TV show - on bloody Saturday! - and more friends will mention it to me than they will my most trafficked blog posts.
No news flash there. Television is the king of all media. It's why Charlotte Dawson gets paid more than cancer researchers.
So, here's the thing.
In trying to construct meaning in my life, I have come to the realisation that it is right and good to talk and write about stuff that makes people feel better about being themselves and, if they're not happy with being themselves, to suggest ways of making that happen.
I'm not saying I do this consistently or successfully, but I do give it a shot and constantly wrestle with the columnist/blogger's dilemma: "Shall I be worthy or entertaining?"
My best blog posts manage to do both, but it's a hard line to walk three times week - even once a week for six years.
That said, it can be done - and, what's more, I believe it can be done on TV.
Problem is, no one will listen to me. I've pitched one form of All Men Are Liars and the dialogue it encourages to every free-to-air TV network in the country.
But they don't get it, which is probably my fault, so I'll try again.
Gender, relationships, and how we interact with each other IS THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL ISSUE facing the planet.
If we fail to respect the opposite sex and each other, how the hell are we ever going to respect neighbours, other nations, religions, the environment or future generations?
We need to talk about this stuff.
And we do.
It's actually what we talk about most - with our mates, our partners and our colleagues.
We want answers as to how to make relationships work, how to make ourselves work, but there's so much conflicting shit out there, we give up, go to the pub, eat a chocolate cake.
We need to understand why people get sad, depressed, angry, isolated and then cheat, lie, abuse and kill each other.
You can do this on TV - what's more - it can be funny, it can be educational, it can be f---ing riveting, if you approach it with integrity and honesty.
Those two words are the key.
Be honest with your audience and they will see you are actually trying to help, not just sell them dishwashing liquid in the ad breaks.
And that's where I come in.
I'm not TV handsome, I'm not university educated, but I don't mind embarrassing myself, I don't mind admitting to stuff that 99 per cent of people on TV would run the other way from.
People respond to that.
When they see you vulnerable and weak, they can admit their own vulnerability and weakness and that's the point where growth and change begin.
I guarantee when the emails and testimonials start to flow in from viewers, when people in power in TV realise they can have an enormous, positive impact on viewers' lives aside from losing friggin' weight, they'll want to do more of it.
So give me a TV show.
Give me a time slot.
I'll do the rest.