The McGregor Mayweather scuffle isn't a fight for the ages. It's a fight for the Kardashians.
And I love a big fight.
Hagler versus Hearns. Sugar Ray. Roberto Duran. Ward versus Gotti. Larry Holmes. I consumed umpteen underaged beers watching Tyson walk to the ring to Mama Said Knock You Out knowing damn well he was going to cause immediate and medium-term damage to every individual he squared up against.
After Spanish classes with Muhammad Ali's twins and graduating high school with Muhammad Ali Jr, I went back and watched all the Foreman and Frazier battles. I still cry watching Rocky and Rocky II. July's Cormier versus Jones was superb, and GGG against Alvarez could be a classic.
A barbaric attraction
Wrestling. Muay Thai. A bar brawl. Boxing. When two men square up, it inherently draws a crowd. We are fight fans. Hipsters and artists will scoff at our bloody and barbaric perversion. The adrenalin and blood where fitness and athletic skill meets rage and dominance when Man A squares up to Man B – it's inexplicable – it's the bloke in us.
And when that opening bell rings, every fight fan is emotionally involved. You cheer for the warrior, or you cheer for the underdog who might survive, who might just win. But one thing you get behind is a man's story. And that story gets a fight fan emotionally involved.
But McGregor and Mayweather have none of these. We all know it, yet millions will still watch it because men love a fight.
A fight with no real choice
I won't watch McGregor and Mayweather because, emotionally, I've got two bad choices.
In the blue corner you have Conor McGregor. I'm a fan of his UFC rags to glory story. I've watched the fights, documentaries, and workout videos. I cheered for his Jose Aldo performance. Yet in this fight something is amiss. His disdain for a different sport and its champion is off-putting.
And then McGregor recently said to Mayweather at a press conference: "Dance for me boy". Then later "I'm half-black from the waist down." I won't call him that 'r' word, but I will call him out for pulling at our emotions and wallets with racial overtones. His MMA press conferences can be troll-esque poetry; for this fight I've only heard piss-poor-prose.
McGregor is outrageously cocky. He's race baiting. And he's in it for the money.
In the red corner you have Floyd Mayweather. With 49 wins and zero defeats, he's one of boxing's greats. Yet if one questioned Mayweather about his lack of humility, I'm certain he'd reply "I'm not here to talk about the weather."
Mayweather is an incredible boxer, yet an unlikeable man.
He welcomes his next million like a newborn – his "Money Mayweather" persona is one thing. You only have to read his son's letter submitted as evidence for his mid-career jail-term for domestic violence to think, "I could never cheer for this guy to leave the boxing ring safely."
Mayweather isn't just outrageously cocky. He hits women. And he's in it for the money.
Asking the wrong questions
Clown to the left. Joker to the right. Emotionally, I'm at a fork in the road, and all I can smell is money. All I can taste is egomaniac. I'm turning around, and I'm turning it off before it even starts.
This fight is a product, a marketing try-hard reeling us in with a "Who wins in a battle – a shark or a lion", yet only appealing to dummies who refuse to ask "in the water or wild?"
I question McGregor's lack of experience in fighting one of the best defensive fighters of all time. I doubt his ability to handle increased glove weight and cardio endurance through 12 rounds. I foresee a surgically defensive victory for Mayweather.
However, I predict a Mayweather victory that sets up fight number two that will end with a win each, setting up the Ali versus Frazier-esque wannabe (but won't ever be) trilogy that we'll lap up like Season 30 of the Kardashians, netting no sporting value, just billions of profit for the inner circle – fighters, managers, promoters, and tv executives.
McGregor and Mayweather isn't a fight for the ages. It's a product. It leans towards boxing while hinting at MMA. Yet it reeks of WWE meets Barnum and Bailey.
If a tree falls and nobody's around to hear it does it make a sound? I wonder, when two villains hit in each other in the face, should anybody give a shit?
Clearly, yes. Millions will, and hundreds of millions will be paid out – McGregor versus Mayweather will be the most profitable fight in history. I'm putting my foot and beer down. I'm one lad that's stepping out of the sales queue now, refusing to watch it.
Will you be tuning in? Or tapping out? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.