Mello-ing gracefully

There's been a fair bit of internet and media snickering about the fact glamour gal Alex Wileman is currently featured in advertisements for incontinence pads.

Back in the 80s, a then 22-year-old Wileman set many a youthful heart ablaze in her incomparable Mello Yello TV advertisement (not to mention her awesome blow-wave) and has, not surprisingly, aged just as many years as every person who watched that ad in 1983.

Ummm, let's see, that's 30 years ago, so that would make her 52! Ah ha hahahahahaha, she's doing ads for adult nappies! Quite silly, really, but if you've been in the public eye that long you shouldn't be surprised by any shade of mean spiritedness that comes your way.

There seems to be a special sort of schadenfreude we reserve for beautiful women as they age, perhaps because they might finally get to experience life as it has always been for us chubby, asymmetrical mortals.

In this case, however, it ignores the fact Wileman still looks like this. If someone told me at 22 I'd look that good in 30 years' time, I'd have started wearing dresses (and blow-waved).

I have to say, my first reaction when I saw Wileman in the incontinence ad wasn't that she'd aged, but that I had. Here was the sex symbol of my youth and she was doing an old person ad ... well, a handsomely-mature person ad. 

It's the same plunging epiphany I had when reading an article about Pixies' front man and all-round indie musical rock god, Frank Black, and realised he was only four years my senior.

Black Francis has had an incredible career, influenced countless musicians, stacked major cash, travelled the world, yet the Pixies broke up in 1992!

Aside from making me reflect on the paucity of my achievements, seeing my idols age, just like me, is also strangely comforting as it reminds me none of us escape the indignities of fat, flab, wrinkles and - dare I prod karma - incontinence.

Peter Garrett? Old guy. Elle McPherson? Old. Status Quo? Really old and doin' Coles ads. I wish they'd shot an incontinence ad instead, rocking out in nappies. That I could stomach.

Alex Wileman's latest venture, however, reminded me there's still plenty of fun to be had in the years to come, especially at the pub, where I'll be able to dispense with trips to the bathroom all together.

If you look closely at her face in this ad and that of her fictional husband, you'll see their expressions are exactly the same as that of a two-year-old as they let forth a furious, relaxing flow into their nappy.

"That's right, we're talking and I'm peeing."

That's some mellow yellow.  

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