The latest addition to surfwear maker Quiksilver's apparel range might convince you that the surfwear brand has finally jumped the shark.
A business suit-inspired wetsuit range – called the 'True Wetsuit' – is purportedly real, and has been developed exclusively for the Japanese market.
It comprises a jacket and pants made of two-millimetre-thick "super stretchy" neoprene; a "Dry Flight" shirt jointly developed by Quiksilver and 3M that combines stretchy material with quick-drying ability; and a neoprene tie, which has the added bonus of being virtually stain-proof.
Ready for a board meeting
There's a choice of an ensemble resembling a business suit in black or luminescent blue, and if it's party time then the True Wetsuit also comes as a tuxedo, complete with contrasting lapels and bow tie.
The benefits of such a set-up for executives grabbing a quick surf on the way to work would be the avoidance of five whole minutes spent changing clothes in the carpark. In Quiksilver's scenario, you needn't even stop to remove your tie.
The downsides would be … too numerous to mention. But let's start with comfort (lack of it), smell (both from the neoprene and dubious hygiene), heat retention (at work), lack of heat retention (in the water), and lack of fit (although tailoring appears to be offered). Not to mention the mess that your waxed deck will make of your jacket, shirt and tie.
To complement the general silliness, Quiksilver even supplies as an accessory a notepad and pen that the intrepid surfer can keep in his breast pocket while shredding up the local break. Press a button on the pen, and an email can be fired off to the boss ('stuck in traffic') to explain your absence.
It's said to be on sale now, and while the suit itself seems like a joke, the price is not. At 300,000 yen ($3200) you'd need to be a chairman of the board - pun intended - to afford one.