Sitting as I do at the centre of a spider's web of grooming facts, a number of interesting snippets sometimes slip by without me passing them on to you.
This week I thought I'd correct that and bring to your attention some of the weirder trends I've noticed.
The odddest has got to be this. Japanese girls - and most Hey Martha! stories do have a fair number of Japanese girls in them - are having their teeth unstraightened. The procedure, called ''Yaeba'' involves fitting removable caps to ordinary, straight teeth for a deliberately juvenile look. Some even have sharp, Dracula-like fangs slipped over their incisors.
According to the London Daily Mail, "Japanese men find the 'imperfection' of young ladies’ 'snaggleteeth' smile sexually attractive because of its endearing 'childlike' quality. [And] men find them more approachable than women with perfect 'picket-fence teeth'."
Thanks to an English dentist who left me with the wonkiest of teeth and told my parents I didn't need braces unless I was "planning on a career in television", the thought of dainty Japanese girls being considered less alluring with a headful of perfect English teeth raises a huge smile through my tightly clenched lips.
The second "woah, what was that?" moment was a brief news story on the latest training camp for Pakistani fast bowlers. The emphasis, it was reported, was not on bowling sandshoe crushers, the giving and taking of insults, how to engage in a Twitter war, or even what to do if approached by shadowy individuals. No. The Pakistani bowlers were being lectured on how to do their hair.
Agence France Presse reported that during a 10-day camp led by former captain Wasim Akram, the players were given a lecture by "top Pakistani stylist" Nabila Ahmed on how to look good - both on and off the field.
"We wanted to tell the players through Nabila's lecture how to present yourself as a person which is very important for international players as they are ambassadors of the country," said Wasim, who indicated that his floppy centre parting may have helped him to snare his 414 Test wickets.
"A good hairstyle and good dress add to your confidence and it can play a very good role in giving someone much-needed confidence," he said. "As a person you need to look presentable, which I feel has been missing in some of our players."
And then there was the news from Turkey where facial hair implants are gaining in popularity.
The Guardian spoke to a hair transplant doctor called Tulunay who says he's seeing up to 15 men a month who want facial hair transplantation. Most are from elsewhere in the Middle East, especially the Arabian Gulf.
"Businessmen come to me to get beard and moustache implants," Tulunay said. "They say that business partners do not take them seriously if they don't sport facial hair."
Ali Mezdegi, a cosmetic surgeon, told The Guardian that many of his patients asked for transplants before they took a second, third, or even fourth wife.
"Thick hair is a status symbol, and a sign of strength and virility," he said.
Don't lose your edge
The final surprise was something that actually did what it was supposed to do. As you can imagine, I get many emails about products that do this and that - and many of them fail to make the grade.
I'm as aware as the next man about how expensive razor blades are. And they go blunt so quickly. I've often hoped that someone would invent a modern-day version of the strop - the old leather belt used to sharpen cut-throats and terrorise children.
I once tried using olive oil to keep razor blades sharper for longer (it was a dismal, messy failure) but a new device - named the Razorpit - seems to work. It makes blades last longer.
As razors have gained more and more blades, the space where old soap, old bristles, flaked-off skin and all sorts of gunk can accumulate has risen - and it's this dirt that makes razors feel blunter faster. The Razorpit doesn't sharpen the blades, it just cleans all this crap out of them.
It's is a plastic block a little bit bigger than a smartphone. You lather it up with shaving soap, rub the razor on it, rinse and, voila! Another week or more out of the same blade.
The makers reckon you can save $300 a year by using one. They cost about $30.
What lengths would you go to to keep looking good? Beard transplants? Fake wonky teeth? Or do you stop at a good haircut and a clean shave?